Sign of the Apocalypse: Hurl

Oh man. This is going to be awesome. It's like Glutton Bowl x10!

From TVGuide.Com:

G4 is planning a new summer series Hurl! where contestants will try to consume the largest quantity of food. Seems easy enough. Don't you have a gut feeling there's a catch? There is — in the gut. After chowing big time on All-American favorites (think hot dogs, blueberry pie, chicken pot pies), the contestants must endure serious physical challenges, like carnival rides, belly flops off a high dive and mechanical bull-riding — without, you know, getting sick. If they survive that, it's back to the food table to wolf down a whole different menu, and then it's back to physical challenges — and holding off a reversal of fortune. Whoever keeps all their food down wins.In addition to a massive headache, the champ wins the Iron Stomach award and a cash prize. Year's supply of Pepto-Bismol not included. — J.R. Whalen

Culture Corner: Review of Young Frankenstein

First of all, Jason kicked off this week's Culture Corner by getting tickets for a future Culture Corner. And in doing so, he ran into Christine Baranski. Without me. And then, he went to wait for me outside the Young Frankenstein theater. And in doing so, he ran into Megan Mullally. Without me. Yep. Just another day for Jason and his celebrity friends. Lucky for me, he decided to slum it and go to the show with me.

Okay, the matter at hand. One word: Fan-freakin-tastic! I do love a production and this was everything a Broadway show should be. Big sets, big dance numbers, huge talent. I've never seen the movie so I only had a vague idea of the story. The entire cast was really outstanding. Roger Bart was perfect, Andrea Martin was impeccable, Megan Mullally was exquisite. This show exceeded all my expectations.



Jason says "IT'S AHHHLIIIIIIVVVEE
...with a great cast, amazing scenery and laughs, laughs and more laughs. Maybe Mario Lopez should've joined this cast instead...only then could I have given him a better review."

Pictures from official show site.

Wednesday's Watchings

Another new format for TV listings - it's hard to come up with comments for all of the shows so I'm only doing it for those that inspire me now. I mean, what am I supposed to say about Supernanny? It's the same every week, a different family is surprised that their kids are better behaved once introduced to the concept of rules. But I can't get enough.

America's Next Top Model (Tyracentric episode. Even more than usual); American Idol (Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield. Awesome. Also, David Archuleta is starting to creep me out. Why does it sound like he's always singing about Jesus, regardless of the song? I like singing to Jesus as much as the next guy, but every week?); Criminal Minds (road trip to Miami - probably not as fun as it sounds); Supernanny; CSI: NY (more Taxi Cab Killer, which shows I wasn't paying much attention last week because I thought they caught the killer); Boston Legal (new night); Law & Order (Lupo gets a new partner); Top Chef.

Get Off My Back, Universe!

Today you might be feeling a bit tense, dear Pisces, and you probably won't be able to understand why. The secret? It's the planets! You might tend to jump at unexpected noises, or take offense where none is intended. Relations with others might be a little strained, necessitating some communication about how you're feeling. Try to work off the tension by taking a brisk walk, or perhaps working out at the gym.

In the past eight days, I've been to the gym five times. What more do you want from me, planets?

Culture Corner: Young Frankenstein

Tonight, Jason and I head off to see Megan Mullally, Roger Bart, Andrea Martin and assorted others in Young Frankenstein. I couldn't be more excited!

Tuesday's Tunings

I'm too lazy to do a real post for today's listings so you get a laundry list instead. Sorry. :)

Dancing With the Stars (results); NCIS; Shark (new night and time); American Idol (Neil Diamond songs. Oh, sweet glory!); Hell's Kitchen (Mmm, pizza); Reaper; Women's Murder Club (Rob Estes, yum); Law & Order: SVU (Robin Williams); The Riches.

That's all, folks!

Monday's Shows

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - Two dances per couple. Yay!
Deal or No Deal (NBC) - Star Wars theme! Creepy.
CBS Comedy Block (CBS) - All four sitcoms are new tonight. Barney and Robin made out at the end of last week's Mother so that bodes well for tonight.
Bones (Fox) - Brennan has to care for a baby found at a crime scene. Chaos ensues, I'm sure.
Gossip Girl (CW) - Serena's old "friend" shows up. Chaos also ensues, I'm sure.
One Tree Hill (CW) - Lindsey is back for Jamie's birthday party. I think we can expect chaos.
House (Fox) - It's finally back. Now we can find out more about Amber and Wilson!
Samantha Who? (ABC) - Jerry O'Connell guests!
Medium (NBC) - Kelly Preston cause chaos.
CSI: Miami (CBS) - A body in a sinkhole leads the team to a robbery and the target of the robbery has a shocking secret.

Reward Time! "Low" by Flo Rida

I got my third gym sticker today, so I downloaded this song as my reward. I think it will be good for the treadmill. I still have time to get a fourth sticker tomorrow. The week starts on Sunday I've decided.

Operation Torch: Because NYC Needs More Automatic Weapons

Move over Hercules teams, there's new firepower in town! Thanks to some federal funding, mass transit in New York City will now be patrolled by NYPD officers armed with submachine guns and a bomb-sniffing dog named Clipper. First of all, Clipper isn't a very scary name. And second of all, only one bomb-sniffing dog? The grant was over $151 million. Couldn't they get a few more dogs - like, maybe a baker's dozen or something?

Commissioner Kelly swears the transit system is as safe as it's ever been, which maybe isn't the most comforting choice of words, but I'll take what I can get. Let's hope Clipper makes the occasional trip to Queens, because we like safe trains too!

Full article here.

Listening Lounge Farewell: Lily Allen

We say good-bye to Lily with the title track, Smile. I love this song so much. Mark Ronson did a phenomenal remix that I could only find in audio form so you get a little bonus.

And, Lily - better luck with your next boyfriend! For his sake, really. But not for ours, because this song rocks!



Audio Snippet of Smile Remix - Yay!

Weekend Timewasters

Friday
Ghost Whisperer/Moonlight/NUMB3RS (CBS) - It's CBS's Friday night with all new episodes. On Ghost Whisperer, Melinda has a haunted college student; on Moonlight, Mick has to choose between Beth and becoming human; and NUMB3RS has a the kidnapped family of a fugitive.

Saturday
Princess (ABC Family) - Cheesy made for TV movie. I'm only mentioning because I think the Princess is named Ithaca.

Sunday
Big Brother (CBS) - Adam or Ryan will be named the winner. I think I'm hoping for Ryan.
Cold Case (CBS) - A suicide turns out to be a murder.
Psych (NBC) - Sean and Gus go to a spelling bee to solve a murder. This show is so awesome.
Desperate Housewives (ABC) - Bree and Katherine start a business. I live for this.
Brothers & Sisters (ABC) - More crying, I'm sure. Oh, and paternity test information revealed!
Day Break (TV One) - Is Jennifer involved in Hopper's messy day?
Viva Hollywood (VH-1) - The search for the next telenovela star features a pageant this wee! A pageant! Ay dios mio! Yes, I've been waiting to use that. But seriously, you MUST watch. Come on - a pageant!

Culture Corner: Review of Chelsea Handler

First of all, Caroline's sucks. Worst ticketing/seating system EVER. So chaotic. Our seats were okay even though we were practically the last ones seated. These two guys sat in front of us - it's possible one of them was Chelsea's sugar daddy. Bizarre. You can see one of them in the middle pic below. Also, the place was full of drunk bitches who were kind of obnoxious.

All in all, the show ended up being good even if it was a late night. Chelsea's friend Heather was one of three openers for the show (she's in the first picture - note, the pictures aren't so hot because I was taking them without a flash to be subtle). Chelsea (pics two and three) was pretty hilarious - very irreverent, of course. We were definitely laughing out loud for most of it. Thank you Jason for the awesome birthday present! We chose not to stand in the horrendous line to buy an autographed copy of her book and have our picture taken. They almost lured me in with the picture so that I could post it here, but it was 11:30 and did I mention the drunk bitches everywhere?

What did Jason have to say? "I've seen Cheslea lately, have you? LOVE HER!"

Also, I've updated the Culture Corner Review of A Chorus Line with Jason's quote. Click here to check out the updated post!

Summer is Here!

How do I know summer is here? Because, I have my first flip flop blisters starting! Also, my feet were ridiculously dirty and my awesome new Adidas flip flops are all gross looking on the heels now and not so awesome. They shouldn't get that dirty so fast. So sad!

Thursday's TV Tips

Sorry about skipping Wednesday's listings. Jason kept me out too late on Tuesday night! Here's Thursday's shows:

Ugly Betty (ABC) - It's back! Henry's baby mama shows up, Wilhelmina's sister might be a man, so it's just another day at Mode.
The Office (NBC) - Michael and Dwight come to New York. Bring it on, boys!
30 Rock (NBC) - Jack is named successor of GE, but it's soon put into jeopardy.
Supernatural (CW) - The dreamy Winchester boys are back too - and starring in a reality show about hauntings.
Without a Trace (CBS) - This time, a man goes missing.
Lost (ABC) - I am still stuck in season three so I'm not sure what's happening this week. I just know that it's a new episode.

Culture Corner: Review of A Chorus Line

I really need to start doing these reviews right away because otherwise I forget what I thought. Mario Lopez is cute in "person" and he was pretty good, though I wish we hadn't gone on his opening night. I have a feeling he's going to get better as he gets more comfortable in the role. I thought parts of the story in the middle took me out of the play, but all in all it was good.

One thing that really stuck out to me about the show was that it was basically "junk on parade." I mean, boys in leotards are kind of disturbing.

Also, I'm waiting for Jason to give me a quote to add to this review!

UPDATE: Here's the quote from Jason - "Seeing Glenda on stage in her bubble, Tracy Turnblad rockin' out in Baltimore and Roxie Hart's Razzle Dazzle was great. Notice I remember these shows more than A Chorus Line. Mario who?"

Reward Suggestions, Please!

Tonight I'm planning to hit the gym for the second time for Operation Steamy Hot in Vegas. I've decided to reward myself with stickers on the calendar for each day I go. My question to you, dear readers, is what's a good reward for me if I get 3+ stickers in a week? Has to be inexpensive and not food-related, otherwise defeats the purpose. Maybe a new song download? You must have something to suggest? Comment below (it's easy!) please!

Delicious Gluten-Free Eating?

Sounds impossible, but as Jason and I learned last night - quite possible after all. Before Chelsea Handler, we took a visit to Risotteria as it offers a large variety of gluten-free options. I had a really great salad with gluten-free dressing that was really delicious and some quite tasty "classic" risotto (all risotto on menu is gluten-free). Jason opted for pizza because he's been dying for it and that was really good as well. Oh - and there were some very delicious, mildy salty breadsticks. Jason saved his gluten-free brownie for his ride home, but reported that it was good also.

S'mac also offers gluten-free options so I'm sure we'll try that at some point (possibly after Operation Steamy Hot in Vegas ends). But, Risotteria - we'll see you soon, I'm sure!

A-D-I-D-A-S...

As most of you know, sometimes my taste veers towards, well frankly, tacky. I know it. You know it. It's kind of part of my charm. For whatever reason, I'm kind of obsessed with Adidas. So, of course, I was thrilled today to come across the Queens Borough Track Top. I mean - how awesome, right? Check it out:
















Just the right amount of tacky, right? And I would never wear it in Queens because I am self-aware enough to know that Queens clothing is only funny when I'm out of the city. So I was definitely looking forward to wearing it at the Murphy's or in Albany or Utica. And then I zoomed in. Which I can't do here, because Adidas is tricky with their site so I can't get an upclose on the zoom (click here for product page). But because this item is a tribute to RUN-DMC DJ Jam Master Jay (RIP), it features a "JAM" print all over it. Which I think might be a little too hood rat for me. Or as Kate so eloquently put it "it might look like you're just getting off a boat." Sad because it's true. If I see it in a store, I might re-evaluate but I'm not holding out hope. I even reviewed the men's version which features slightly less "JAM" but it's there just the same.

So, I think instead I might make do with the shell toe and fat laces seen here:

Culture Corner: Chelsea Handler

Week Two of my Culture Corner tour
with Jason continues tonight. We'll be
seeing the hilarious Chelsea Handler at Caroline's. She doesn't go on until ridiculously late (9:30 on a school night!) so I'm hoping she's worth it. Catch her yourself on her E! show Chelsea Lately and see what all the hype is about.

Tuesday's Tunings

NCIS (CBS) - So I started watching last week because the story line involved a German Shepherd (he wasn't guilty) and I noticed that there are some cute boys on the show as well, so I'm willing to give it a second try this week.
American Idol (Fox) - Andrew Lloyd Webber night is perfect for future pop stars.
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - Bump watch! Ashlee Simpson performs, no doubt in something just baggy enough to keep people talking. J. Lo did it last year. You, A. Simp, are no J. Lo. Plus, Riverdance!
Big Brother (CBS) - Veto comp and it comes down to final three!
Hell's Kitchen (Fox) - Pasta and a trip to the hospital. Exciting!
Reaper (CW) - Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino are back in this new episode. Dreamy.
Boston Legal (ABC) - Denny and Alan appear before the Supreme Court. This might be the season finale.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) - Secret gays! Forbidden love with a reporter!
The Riches (FX) - Dahlia starts to realize how many secrets Wayne is keeping. Also, Jamie McShane (The Fitz's bro-in-law) might appear again. He was in last week's episode and Cael is still at the traveller's camp this episode, so I'm hopeful we'll catch a glimpse!
Work Out (FX) - I haven't watched this show but I hear good things. Maybe the lesbian cruise episode is a good time to try it out...

Operation Steamy Hot in Vegas is in Effect, Baby!

So, since Mrs. Fitz started Couch-to-5K, Mrs. LaPage was so fine in her wedding dress, Ms. Hoffman has SkinnyHawaii on the brain, Mrs. Murphy is, simply, a weight-loss machine and now Mrs. Clark (my Mom) is getting in on the action by dropping 10+ pounds, I've decided it's time to get on the stick. Of course, booking a trip to Las Vegas may have jump started my motivation as well.

Operation Steamy Hot in Vegas (aka, Operation SexyBack) kicked off this evening with a visit to the gym I've been paying for since January. 35 minutes on the bike because it's all that was open. Pretty sure it's better than the sitting on my couch I've been doing for the past five years. I also signed up for a personal trainer "try-pack" that gets me a couple sessions, so hopefully I can start off on the right foot and keep up with it.

I need help creating a good gym mix. Email me your suggestions or leave them in the comments below!

Wish me luck! On June 30, it's do-or-die time!

Florida Highlights

Here's a couple highlights from the Florida trip!
Looks like everyone had a great time!

You Know What I Won't be Watching Tonight?

Yikes. This is worse than the episode my Mom and I tried to watch after my Dad's deployment ceremony. From TVGuide.com - On tonight's episode of NBC's Deal or No Deal, as Capt. Joseph Kobes — a Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient who has served in Iraq three times — attempts to win enough cash to pay off his parents' home, President Bush appears via video to surprise the war vet with a thank-you for time served and a wish for luck in his quest for big bucks.

Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. LaPage

So, my trip to Utica was quite delightful. Angela and Chris are so happy and in love. And you'll see below, Angela was looking super steamy hot. Everything about the day and night was just perfect. I'm so glad I got to share in it with them.

Behold:

Monday's Shows

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - The first group dance of the season! Love.
Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men/Rules of Engagement (CBS) - Still funny.
Bones (Fox) - Mystery of a basketball star crushed by bleachers. Oh my!
Gossip Girl (CW) - It's back! Blair is dethroned, Serena has to live with her new stepbrother Chuck and Jenny struggles to keep up with the in-crowd.
One Tree Hill (CW) - Everyone is trying to move forward.
Samantha Who? (ABC) - Sam and Todd have a hot kiss.
The Hills (MTV) - Heidi tries to make up with Lauren one more time.
CSI: Miami (CBS) - Murderers and missing girls. Cheery.
Medium (NBC) - Allison's health is jeopardized.

Julianne Hough Sings - The New Hotness or Sign of the Apocalypse?

On May 20, Julianne Hough's debut album will be released. Thanks again to the magical, genius users of YouTube, we can view a sneak peek clip of her singing "Will You Dance With Me" live somewhere. I have no idea where this was filmed or when.

Anyway, behold the video and leave your vote on whether it is the New Hotness or a Sign of the Apocalypse in the comments.


Also, there are a frightening amount of YouTube videos of her "singing" that are really just tribute videos people made of pictures of her with her song being played over them. That disturbs me.

Thursday's TV Tips

I'm heading to Utica for Angela's wedding, but I wanted to make sure you had your TV listings for the weekend! Can't leave my faithful readers high and dry!

Thursday
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (Fox) - Sadly for me, I think the short answer is no.
My Name is Earl/30 Rock/The Office (NBC) - Earl's still in a coma/Jack wants Tracy to become the celebrity face of the Republican Party (awesome)/Kevin & Andy (who went to Cornell, by the way) try to win back stolen parking spaces.
Eli Stone (ABC) - Season finale. I really hope this show gets renewed.
Step It Up & Dance (Bravo) - Oooh! Freestlye face-off. Yes! Just like Britney and JT, I hope.
Burn Notice (USA) - Pilot episode of last summer's show about a spy who gets fired, i.e. burn notice. The show was really pretty entertaining, the main character is kind of dreamy and sort of like a one-man A-Team. New episodes are coming this summer, so I'm hoping USA will run the entire first season as a catch-up.

Friday
Canterbury's Law (Fox) - NIGHTMARE ALERT!!!! Elizabeth tries to avoid defending a rapist but the "oh man" part is this part of the episode description - Chester goes after a greedy slumlord after a RAT disfigures a girl living in one of the slumlord's rodent-infested properties. Honestly people. That is not entertainment. That is unacceptable.

Sunday
Rock of Love (VH-1) - Reunion. And Heather gets into a fistfight with Daisy. I am there. If you haven't watched a single episode this season, PLEASE watch this one.
Big Brother (CBS) - Natalie is gone. I kind of don't care now, but I've invested this much time so I have to see how it ends.
Sweet Nothing in My Ear (CBS) - CRIER ALERT! Marlee Matlin TV movie with Jeff Daniels.
Monk/Psych (NBC) - Reruns of episodes originally aired on USA Network. I have to confess I LOVE Psych and really recommend you check it out. The friendship between Sean and Gus is so amusing.
Desperate Housewives (ABC) - Bree and Katherine working together to plan a Ball. I love it. I want to be on their committee.
Brothers & Sisters (ABC) - This show is usually a bit of a crier for me, but I love the relationships and think it is a fairly realistic portrayal of family dynamics if your family is rich and kind of boozy and you find out when your father dies that he had a mistress for 20+ years and possibly an illegitimate daughter. Even if your family is a little less dysfunctional, it's still a great show with great writing and a great cast.

Cherry Coke Days

In college, I used to eat at a certain dining hall fairly frequently because it was in the middle of all my classes. I was a big fan of smoked turkey on a sundried tomato wrap and I would dip it into honey mustard dressing from the salad bar. Delicious. Kate can back me up on this if any of you doubt me. And on days when I need a little pick-me-up, a little extra pep-in-my-step, I would treat myself to Cherry Coke from the fountain.

Today is a Cherry Coke day. I'm not sure why. It's a beautiful day out, it's essentially my Friday as I'm off the rest of the week, and I've got a nice weekend to look forward to. But I just feel a little off, a little dissatisfied, a little like I need some Cherry Coke.

But because I'm well into my 30s now and trying to stay away from too much caffeine and empty calories, I've opted for sugar-free hot chocolate instead. Which is good. But it could also use a little shot of Kahula.

Sign of the Apocalypse: Lil Jon Makes Wine

Oh yes, it is true. Rapper-producer Lil Jon now started his own wine label. So, now I must search for where I can buy offerings from the Little Jonathan Winery.

You can read the entire article here, but my favorite quote from Lil Jon is:

"I'm not no `drink wine every day' kind of dude," he said in a telephone
interview. "I'm not like an expert, so don't ask me no questions ... I just like the taste."

I hear ya, Lil Jon. Oh, how I hear you.

Wednesday's Watchings

Trying a different format for the TV listings. Let me know what you think.

• Big Brother (CBS) - Eviction and HOH. I have to admit, I think I'm kind of rooting for nutty Natty but I fear she's going home.
• Presidential Debate(ABC) - Dems in the Phil-to-the-izzy!!! Hillary and Barack in Philadelphia.
• America's Next Top Model (CW) - Media training and cocktails=awesome. AND I think someone loses her passport so she might not be able to go to the secret exotic location! Oh, the drama.
• Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious (CW) - Media training and Mark McGrath. Is he more intoxicating than a cocktail?
• American Idol (Fox) - Mimi (that's Mariah Carey, FYI) performs. Do we think live or do we think she's tape delayed cause she's a star?
• Criminal Minds (CBS) - Serial killer, again. But in Texas so it's VERY different.
• Men in Trees (ABC) - Relationship troubles for everyone it seems. Hard to believe, I know.
• CSI: NY (CBS) - Dead sharks in Rockaway Beach (Queens! Holla!). Oh, and a dead body.
• Top Chef (Bravo) - Tailgate! That sounds promising.

Culture Corner: A Chorus Line

Tonight, Jason and I are kicking off a rather ambitious Culture Corner schedule. The tour begins with A Chorus Line and tonight is opening night for Mr. Mario Lopez's commitment with the production. He'll play Zach (ooh, take that Mark-Paul Gosselaar!), the demanding director casting the chorus roles for a new Broadway musical. Check back later this week for our review.

Excellence in Advertising: AT&T Go Phone

So, I only saw the 30 second version of this commercial last night but, thanks to the genius users of YouTube, I can present you with triple the action. All I have to say is Meat Loaf, Tiffany and a dove. Behold:



AT&T, I salute you.

Tuesday's Tunings

Another busy TV night. It slows down later in the week, I promise.

Biggest Loser (NBC) - Finale! It's bound to be a crier.

According to Jim (ABC) - I love Jim Belushi.

American Idol (Fox) - Songs of Mariah Carey. This is not going to end well.

Hell's Kitchen (Fox) - Chef Ramsey is big on poultry this episode. This is also not going to end well. Not just for the chickens, but for the donkeys as well.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC)- Results show with a performance by James Blunt. Snooze. I'm hopeful that Christian or Priscilla will go home.

Reaper (CW) - It's a rerun, but if you missed hilarious Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino last time around (Christine, I'm looking at you), here is your chance to catch a glimpse.

The Riches (FX) - This week's description is preempted. Instead, I use the space as an open forum calling to Minnie Driver and asking her to give my Uncle Mike a chance. We can probably find a reference, maybe two, if it will help. Call us, Minnie!

Boston Legal (ABC) - Shirley wants to end her father's suffering. This could be a crier.

Law & Order: SVU (NBC) - It's back! And right back into it with the rape and the violence and the whatnot.

Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love (Oxygen) - I'm guessing tonight's episode is our chance to meet the family.

2008 CMT Music Awards (CMT) - This actually aired on Monday, but it will be rerun a few times this week. If you like sequins and big hair, this show is for you. So of course I'm watching.

Sign of the Apocalypse: Prime Time Love

Oh, Oxygen. You brought me great joy with Tori & Dean: Inn Love and even moderate joy with The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. And now it's come to this?

As described on Oxygen site: Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love follows the home life of NFL superstar Deion Sanders and his wife, Pilar and five kids in small town Texas. (Um, 5 kids? Wow.)

Oh, I'll watch all eight episodes, Oxygen. But don't think that makes it okay. I just hope that Pilar is half the woman that Kimora Lee Simmons is.

Listening Lounge Farewell: Robbie Williams

No matter how old the Robbie video is, it's still the new hotness to me. We say farewell to him today, but there is a good chance that he'll be back.

Here's Lovelight:

Lovelight Video

And because he's Robbie, here's a bonus - Rudebox!

Sign of the Apocalypse: American Idol Postage Stamps

Um, I like Kelly Clarkson as much as the next person, but really? On a stamp? Dude, it's not like she's Yoda. And also, I have NEVER been so thankful that Clay Aiken didn't win Idol. Gross. Click here to buy your own limited edition American Idol stamps (proceeds to benefit Idol Gives Back). And no, I do not know when the other winners will be released, so if you're dying for Taylor Hicks you're on your own.

Opinion: Saturday Night Live (Ashton Kutcher/Gnarls Barkley)

Ah, obligatory Demi Moore cameo - check. And, off course Cameron Diaz showed up. Does she ever not show up? Overall, Ashton didn't bug like I thought he would, but some of the skits were just bad.

The SNL Digital shorts? The good ones are so excellent and entertaining. The rest? Ugh.

I still heart Seth Myers, so that is good.

And I think I need to investigate Gnarls Barkley a little more thoroughly. They've hooked me with their theatrical costumes, and of course, Crazy. Can the new stuff compete with when they performed dressed like characters from Star Wars?

Book Corner: sTORI Telling by Tori Spelling

I'm just going to admit it. I watch Tori and Dean: Inn Love and I find it enjoyable. They seem to care about each other, they seem happy but can get annoyed with each other and they seem to basically be like any other couple just trying to get by. They recognize they have some extra weird issues because she is Tori Spelling and and they try to just do the best they can to get around that. I just can't help but find them endearing. And now I have to admit it, but even after reading sTORI Telling I still feel the same.

Tori is very matter-of-fact about much of her life. She also doesn't expect people to have a lot of sympathy for "rich kid problems." She recognizes that her childhood was bizarre, but at the time she didn't know any better. She also acknowledges She doesn't gloss over her strained relationship with her mother, or the weird ways her father sometimes fueled that fire. Being Aaron Spelling's daughter helped start her career, but it also kept her from getting auditions. She was never taught to manage money which is fine until the gravy train suddenly dries up at the whim of your mother. A rich kid problem, for sure, but also part of the reason she let a crappy boyfriend spend all her 90210 earnings. She talks about her lavish first wedding and how her mom would say that she was going to pay for something and then after the money had been spent, take it back and leave Tori with the bill. Which I'm sorry, but that is crap. If you tell someone you are paying for the $10,000 flowers or whatever, then you should pony up the dough.

Tori doesn't pull any punches about her first marriage, what it really meant/symbolized and how she cheated on him when she met Dean. Which I find refreshing. She definitely feels like "yeah, I cheated, it wasn't the best thing I could have done, but I did it and I'm sorry it hurt people but I'm happy and this is where we are now." And she loves her husband and she loves her kid and I imagine she's going to love new baby when it comes. And I hope she's happy. I'm sorry, but I just feel like for the "fantastic" life she supposedly lived, she kind of got shafted. I hope that her second marriage sticks and that she works things out with her mom as much as she can and that she and her family can just live their lives.

Monday's Shows

You'll see a mix of repeats throughout the week, but Monday is chock full of new programming! Yay!

The Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men/Rules of Engagement (CBS) - The CBS comedy block is in full effect, baby! I think Two and a Half Men is the weakest of the bunch but tonight's episode has Charlie taking Jake on a date and Jake is one of the best parts of the show so it's promising.

Bones (Fox) - Finally back! The scenes with Brennan and Booth in couples therapy are priceless.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - I love the samba, but I always get a little bored with the rumba.

Gossip Girl (CW) - New episodes come back next week, but this rerun is classic - complete with a who's-my-baby-daddy pregnancy square!

New Amsterdam (Fox) - Season finale!

One Tree Hill (CW) - The aftermath of a foiled abduction and an abandoned wedding.

Samantha Who (ABC) - A proposal! And a jealous best friend. Andrea and Dina are so much more entertaining than Samantha, but the show usually makes me laugh out loud.

Medium (NBC) - Someone comes back to town and Allison's dreams make her question his motives.

So, I guess that means I'll be napping this weekend...

Who am I to argue with my msn.com homepage horoscope?

You shouldn't work as hard as you do! You might have a lot of energy, but your body needs to rest from time to time. There is more to life than work! Try to schedule some time off to relax and recharge your batteries. You will need to be in the best of shape pretty soon. The action is just around the corner, and you will need all capacities.

I wonder what kind of action is coming up? I hope it involves more napping.

TV Rewind: Whose Line is it Anyway?

I've been obsessed with the Whose Line is it Anyway reruns on ABC Family lately. I don't know if the shows have been re-edited for the rebroadcast or if my sense of humor has matured, but these shows are killing me lately. Here's a little something to entice you into a second look. Check out how they crack each other up. Kills me!

Why Don't My Pants Fit? Cause S'Mac is Good.

Go there. Now. So delicious. No, really. SO delicious. I had the Buffalo Chicken. Words cannot express the delicious that was experienced this evening. And when you go, call me. Cause I want to go back. Supermac is up next. Take that, pants!

Weekend Timewasters

It's a busy weekend for me and my DVR.

Friday
Ghost Whisperer (CBS) - Melinda is faces off against the town blogger even though he is not a ghost.

Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular (CBS) - Last week was the first time I'd seen Drew Carey as the host. He just seems to be having such a good time. Someone actually won a million dollars. And Drew Carey was almost as happy about it as she was!

Canterbury's Law (Fox) - Elizabeth is still on trial or whatever.

NUMB3RS (CBS) - I'm not a regular watcher so I'm still not clear what is going on, but it seems to involve someone's ex-boyfriend and maybe some murders and maybe a trial? Sounds promising.

Saturday
Step It Up & Dance (Bravo) - Not sure two episodes constitute a marathon, but I'm going to catch up at some point Saturday or Sunday.

Sunday
Big Brother (CBS) - HOH makes nominations. Lather, rinse, repeat. Gets a bit tedious at this point in the season, no?

Cold Case (CBS) - Murder evidence is found in a drug dealer's freezer. I wonder if he used Ziploc?

Desperate Housewives (ABC) - Secrets, a wedding and more secrets! Just another day on Wisteria Lane.

Rock of Love with Bret Michaels (VH-1) - Bret picks his true love. Or at least, the girl he hates the least. I think Rock of Love 3 is a strong possibility. Fingers crossed!

Eli Stone (ABC) - Visions of an earthquake. Too bad the show already had Natasha Henstridge sing "I Feel the Earth Move."

Day Break (TV One) - Just when it seemed like Hopper was making progress, back to square one. These episodes were never aired on ABC.

Dirt (FX) - I think this is the season finale. I'm not sure I care. You'd think I might after watching all of last season and like 8 episodes this season. But I don't and now I'm stuck watching this episode too cause I'm convinced the show will suddenly get good as soon as I give up on it.

Bring on the Rugrats!

Oh, it has been brought-en! I don't even care.

19
And yes, I will fight dirty. Anything to win! Those little buggers are going DOWN!

Genuis in Reporting: Security Lapses at Penn Station Edition

Hey, kids! Want to know where security is weak at Penn Station? Read the article on MSNBC.com and find out.

Special thanks to NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly for pointing out exactly how the building is vulnerable.

Thursday's TV Tips

American Idol (Fox) - 2.5 hours last night, and nothing accomplished. Okay, maybe they raised a bazillion dollars for charity. But other than that? Zipola. Tonight find out who is going home.

Survivor (CBS) - I haven't been watching, but maybe you want to.

The Office (NBC) - Yay! It's back! It's back! It's back! The Office is back. So is the rest of the NBC comedy block. 30 Rock is worth checking out too. That's what she said. Wait. What?

CSI (CBS) - The original. I'll be watching for my Dad, but you don't have to.

Eli Stone (ABC) - Peg Bundy!

Without a Trace (CBS) - Teen heart-transplant recipient goes missing.

Do I Smell a Spin-off? Moment of Truth Afghanistan? Anybody?

Is the Moment of Truth craze sweeping the streets of Afghanistan? It soon could be, once US Army soldiers are issued hand-held lie detectors.

Highlight from the full article on MSNBC (here):

The new device, known by the acronym PCASS, for Preliminary Credibility Assessment Screening System, uses a commercial TDS Ranger hand-held personal digital assistant with three wires connected to sensors attached to the hand. An interpreter will ask a series of 20 or so questions in Persian, Arabic or Pashto: "Do you intend to answer my questions truthfully?" "Are the lights on in this room" "Are you a member of the Taliban?" The operator will punch in each answer and, after a delay of a minute or so for processing, the screen will display the results: "Green," if it thinks the person has told the truth, "Red" for deception, and "Yellow" if it can't decide.

The article also includes this gem:

Both the proponents and critics agree on one thing: This new device is likely to be less accurate than a polygraph, because it gathers less physiological information.

So, that seems, kind of, not-so-great to me. But, why would you expect a $7,500 device to be accurate?

The article also says that the device cannot be used on US personnel, but come on - you would totally use it to pass the time in the barracks. It's like the ultimate game of truth or dare. I just picture the scene from Strange Brew where the brothers are playing with the electroshock therapy machine. Take off, eh! It's my turn!

Excellence in Advertising: Spike TV's Star Wars Campaign

Last week, Spike TV started airing the entire Star Wars saga. They also have one of the most brilliant advertising campaigns I've ever seen.

Behold:




I love it.

Wednesday's Watchings

Idol Gives Back (Fox) - You might not want to miss the mess that Fox has put together for this year's charity show, but you also might now want to invest the 3.5 hours that Fox wants you to give up. If you do not have DVR, this will be painful.

Big Brother (CBS) - Eviction night.

America's Next Top Model (CW) - Interesting. We've got a clip show up against the Idol extravaganza. Does that mean Seacrest wins in a showdown with Tyra?

Criminal Minds (CBS) - Angel of death serial killer in Pittsburgh!

Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious (CW) - This week I think we finally get some bitches on a boat making a damn video!

Supernanny (ABC) - More kids behaving badly. You'd think they'd run out, right? Thankfully, not so much.

Top Chef (Bravo) - A complex taste test and an upscale charity event.

CSI: NY (CBS) - Only watching this for my Dad, because this show might be the bottom of the CSI barrel.

Primetime: The Last Lecture - A Love Story for Your Life (ABC) - Get the tissues ready! From the ABC Site: Professor Randy Pausch's inspiring last lecture at Carnegie Mellon about living life to the fullest struck a chord with people all over the country. Nine months later, Pausch talks about his battle with cancer, his family and how that last lecture changed his life.

The New Hotness: Leona Lewis Edition

Thanks to Jason for alerting me to the existence of Leona Lewis. She's a pop singer who won The X Factor in the UK and, with the full backing of Simon Cowell and Clive Davis, is making her move on the good old USA.

Behold:


Bleeding Love Video

If you like what you see, prepare to see a lot more of it. In addition to being on Live with Regis and Kelly today, on Friday, April 11, she'll be on The Ellen Degeneres Show (with Marcia Cross, yay!) and Jimmy Kimmel Live and then on Dancing with the Stars results show on May 13.

Written in the Stars?

My Mom and I are both Pisces and yesterday I was reading our April horoscope on Astrology Zone. In addition to the weird (and completely on point) message that we'd either be spending money during travel near April 20 by being in a best friend's wedding (Hello, Angela!) or on a child (my Mom's trip to Disney with Dan, Charlene and Jocelyn), the horoscope included this awesome nugget:

It looks like you'll be traveling near the full moon April 20. If you do, you'll soon see that you couldn't have chosen a better time to go. No matter what the reason for your journey - to have fun or conduct business - your mission will be accomplished. News from someone based in a foreign country could make you very excited and happy, and that news would arrive over the very same weekend, too.

If your birthday falls on or very near February 20, you will see clearly that long distance travel sparkles very brightly for you at this April 20 full moon. News from people at a distance couldn't be better.

The weirdest and best part? This morning, my Dad called my Mom to say he arrived in country safely and is getting settled. That's the best news we could have ever asked for. Here's hoping for a lot more of it over the next year.

Song Obsession: Just Fine

Just Fine by Mary J. Blige is my new feel good anthem. I first time learned about the song when Mary J. Blige performed on One Life to Live. The lyrics are just fantastic and definitely pick me up if I'm feeling down. Give it a listen and see if you agree.

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Tuesday's Tunings

American Idol (Fox) - To gear up for tomorrow night's Idol Gives Back extravaganza, the finalists perform inspirational songs. Gag.

Biggest Loser (NBC) - No trainers, but Rocco DiSpirito AND America votes for the third finalist in the competition.

Big Brother (CBS) - Veto competition. Will one of the girls win, forcing Adam to put James on the block?

Hell's Kitchen (Fox) - The donkeys must accurately slice a halibut into six-ounce fillets. Trust me, it will be more entertaining than it sounds.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - Sheryl Crow performs during the elimination episode and KIDS! Dancing kids! I love it. Also, why did Carrie Ann look like J. Lo last night? That was so bizarre.

Secret Talents of the Stars (CBS) - Tune in to see George Takei's hidden talent! Clint Black, Sasha Cohen and Mya will also perform.

Boston Legal (ABC) - Denny Crane is back and, I'm guessing, better-than-ever.

The Riches (FX) - Life is hard for the Malloys. Again. Some more.

Listening Lounge Farewell: Scissor Sisters

The Scissor Sisters got a few extra days in the Listening Lounge, but now it's time for them to move on. Here's a "Kiss You Off" send-off.


Kiss You Off Video

The New Hotness: $5 Bill Edition

Those of you who know me know that I'm not much of a fan of the news. I only watch to catch the weather report, if that. Otherwise, it's strictly 3 minutes at the top of the hour on Good Morning America, headlines on msn.com, The Daily Show (sporadically) and Newsweek (even more sporadically). I tend to assume the really important stuff will trickle down.

So imagine my surprise, when I received a brand new $5 dollar bill while in Boston this weekend. Behold:

The big changes include:

• Watermarks of the number "5" - one large "5" and a column of three smaller "5"s.
• Security thread - new location, new design
• New colors - the bill looks like someone spilled grape juice in the center of it, not to mention the gigantic purple "5" on the back. (More fancy stuff is detailed on the Department of Treasury site, http://www.moneyfactory.gov/.)

If I think back, I feel like I recall an announcement of some sort on this topic from a few months ago. However, it's just as likely that I'm so out of touch with the real world that I completely missed an announcement on NEW CURRENCY! Perhaps I need to reevaluate how I plug into the world.

What I've Learned: Boston Edition

So, I spent the weekend in Boston and managed to have a great time in spite of the lack of chow-dah. The chocolate buffet at the Langham Hotel is highly recommended, as is the Marriott Long Wharf.

My biggest lesson? Girls in Boston do not wear pants. I saw some of the shortest dresses (or longest shirts) I have ever seen. It made me so uncomfortable. It might also be a sign of how old I am because I was definitely like "they are going to catch a cold." It was not warm in Boston. You know what else is short in Boston? The boys. I was an Amazon.

While in Boston, I received a pretty excellent bridesmaid gift from Angela. She wrote us such a sweet poem, had it laminated and gave us the most beautiful Tiffany necklaces. Feast your eyes on this:

I had a hunch that 27 years of friendship would pay off. Boy did it ever! Thanks again, Angela!

Monday's TV

Sorry for the delay in a new post. I was gone over the weekend and too wiped out to post anything last night or this morning. I'll post some more this evening, but wanted to make sure you got your listings!

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - The paso doble and Viennese waltz, sadly now with 100% less GUTE.

Samantha Who? (ABC) - Excellent cast and decent writing makes for an amusing show.

New Amsterdam (NBC) - Run-ins with the Russian mafia. Yikes!

One Tree Hill (CW) - If you missed this pre-hiatus episode last time around, I strongly suggest tuning into tonight's replay as it does NOT disappoint. The crazy hand-that-rocks-the-cradle nanny kidnapped the kid only to have his fresh-out-of-jail Grandfather totally school her and take the kid back home even though he's not supposed to go near the kid! AND - the bride left the groom at the altar. New episodes start April 14.

NCAA Basketball (CBS) - Kansas vs. Memphis - GO MEMPHIS!!!

Medium (NBC) - Rosanna Arquette guests.

Cute Kid Alert: Kylie's Birthday, Part Deux

Additional footage from Kylie's party.

Reaction Shot (my favorite video):

Ball selection, also featuring my niece Jennifer:

A first shot at the pins:

Cute Kid Alert: Clip from Kylie's Birthday Party

I've uploaded a short video from Kylie's party. I'm still learning how to use the video feature, so pardon my shaky camera work. However, I take no responsibility for the bad lighting in the bowling alley. I've got a couple other videos that I'll try to upload later.

Weekend Timewasters

Wrapping up the weekend all at once. But I have to start with Saturday.

Saturday
Saturday Night Live (NBC) - Do you have a fever? Is the only prescription more cowbell? I sure hope so because the LEGENDARY Christopher Walken is hosting this week. Don't be intimidated - he puts his pants on just like us - one leg at a time. Except, once his pants are on, he makes gold records. Say it, baby!


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Friday
First of all, if you like game shows you are in luck because you can turn on almost any channel at some point tonight and catch a one, including a Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular. Other highlights:

Ghost Whisperer (CBS) - I'm so happy this show is back. I love Jennifer Love Hewitt and her impractical ghost hunting outfits and false eyelashes and her hunky husband and Camryn Manheim. It's all so awesome. This show also makes me cry (in a good way) almost every episode and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Canterbury's Law (Fox) - Elizabeth takes on the case of two high school girls accused of murder. Kids these days!

Numb3rs (CBS) - A shout-out to my Dad. He likes this so I'll give it a pass in the rotation and see what happens.

Sunday
Rock of Love (VH-1) - Recipe for success! It's time for Bret to meet the parents.

Big Brother (CBS) - 2nd time HOH Adam will make his nominations. Hmm, will James be one of them?

Cold Case (CBS) - Field trip for Lilly and Valens when they head to West Virginia

Dirt (FX) - An awards show!

Day Break (TV One) - A hostage situtation. So, similar to Rock of Love.

Filmapalooza!

One of the perks of my job is the fabulous mid-town location. Periodically we see trailers and crews in the neighborhood.

Today, Confessions of a Shopaholic was filming just a couple blocks away (left pic). And on Monday, we can expect to see cast and crew from Gossip Girl hanging around (right pic). XOXO!

Thursday's TV Tips

My Name is Earl (NBC) - A shout-out to The Fitzes - their bro-in-law Jamie appears in this new episode. You might recognize Jamie as the bad guy from any number of shows, but I'm assured that this time he is only bringing the funny.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (Fox) - A shout-out to my Dad who asked me to tape tonight's two hour episode.

Eli Stone (ABC) - Eli's flashbacks give him a chance to say goodbye to his father. This one might be a crier.

Without a Trace (CBS) - Jack goes missing investigating something about illegal abortions and prostitutes in a human-trafficking ring. So, a nice light-hearted alternative to Eli Stone.

Step It Up & Dance (Bravo) - Elizabeth Berkley has been tapped as the host, because she is clearly qualified based on her star turn in Showgirls. I'm going to give this show a shot anyway because the two teams have to learn a Spice Girls dance routine. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want!

I'm Such a Sap

As most of you know, it's been kind of a trying year or so for me, with a bit of an emotional overload hitting yesterday. But I was having a pretty good day today - no crying at all - feeling pretty happy about my evening plans. Getting a hair cut, Criminal Minds is back and overall TV in general is promising this evening and I'm going to go buy some show tickets for when my mom comes, and you get the idea.

And then...I see the news that Friday Night Lights has been renewed. And I'm so happy. And then I start reading the story on Yahoo! News and I get to this part:

Executive producer Jason Katims recalled that, four or five weeks ago, network and studio bosses vowed "to figure out a way to keep this show on the air, despite all the challenges of justifying it from a business standpoint."

"And here we are," Katims said. "They did it."

and that's when I get all teary. What is wrong with me? Like, do I really think all these bigwigs in suits were like "come on, we've GOT to make this work." Because that doesn't seem likely.

But honestly you guys, this show, is beyond awesome. I cry (in a good way) at some point during every episode. And if you think you won't like the show because it's about football, you are dead wrong. The football is there, but it's not the point. The point is watching these people trying to navigate life and hitting bumps in the road and seeing all their mistakes and knowing that you made some of the same ones and wanting them to succeed even though they get in their own way and on and on. It's just awesome.

And really the kicker in all of this? The show is airing on DirectTV first (which I do not have) and then on NBC in January of freakin' 2009. So I'm crying because a show I love is coming back EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T WATCH IT RIGHT AWAY.

I need help, y'all. The rest of you should start renting the DVDs of Season 1 and Season 2. And if you don't love it, I will buy you a beer (provided you are of legal drinking age).

Opinion: American Idol

Dude - is Michael Johns wearing a freakin' ascot? I think he chose an excellent song (It's All Wrong But It's Alright) and he sounds a little like Peter Gallagher to me (highest compliment ever), so I'll forgive him the ascot because I'm digging him.

Other than Michael Johns, Brooke White is the only other one that stuck out (probably because she sang the awesome Jolene). Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado were both really good.

Personally, though I love Dolly Parton and totally want to have beers with her, I do not think her songs are good for American Idol overall. I was happy to see that Paula turned in her fingerless satin gloves/evening gown combo for her Easter dress. It sort of pains me to listen to her sometimes .

Also, what the heck Fox? Why do you mess up my DVR with your non-comformist start/end times? If I hadn't been taping Hell's Kitchen, I would have missed the end of American Idol. Not cool, Fox. Not cool.

J. Crew Loves Me

Thanks to Christine for pointing out how the J. Crew loves the Melster. Here's the email she received today:

And here's the key part (emphasis mine):

I think we can all agree that J. Crew knows what it is talking about.

Wednesday's Watchings

April showers bring us new episodes picking up where the strike left off. Yay!

First off, thumbs down to the Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, which totally pulled a bait and switch on me on Monday. I was promised some bitches dancing on a boat and instead I got a clip show. Even worse, a lame clip show. And I think the next new episode isn't until April 9. What the heck, man?

Big Brother (CBS) - Eviction night.

America's Next Top Model (CW) - This week is "go-sees" where the girls are given a strict time to return and inevitably, half of them miss the deadline and are disqualified from the challenge. Oh and someone gets hurt!

Supernanny (ABC) - If you homeschool your four children, you might get what you ask for.

Criminal Minds (CBS) - It's back. I've missed it so much!

American Idol (Fox) - Dolly Parton performs.

Top Chef (Bravo) - A film-themed dinner hosted by Richard Roeper.

Men in Trees (ABC) - Guest star Morgan Fairchild! She wants the movie rights to Marin's life. I hope she plays a bitch who wants the movie rights to Marin's life.

Daytime Highlight: Jenny McCarthy on Ellen.

Late Night Highlights: Clooney on Letterman; Steve Carell on Leno.