A One-Act Play Titled "Russ the Trainer is Trying to Kill Me"

Scene 1 - Melanie enters the personal trainer area of a gym in New York City.

Melanie: Russ, I ran twice this weekend. Check out my fancy new sneakers and my fancy new workout pants.

Russ: Very nice. Jump over this step until I tell you to stop.

Melanie: Wow. This is hard. My legs are still a little sore from everything I did this weekend.

Russ: Did you stretch?

Melanie: No. Show me how.

Russ: Do a lot of lunges - side, wide, the whole nine yards. Lunge, lunge, lunge.

Melanie: Wow. This is hard on my legs also.

Russ: Let's go do some weird ab contraption. Now, jumping jacks. Now, more abs. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Okay, squat thrust/push-up/jumping thing now.

Melanie: Seriously - enough with the squats. I cannot do anything else with my legs.

Russ: Shoulder presses on an ab ball. Make sure your hips are up. Hips up. Hips up. Hips up. Rest. Okay, get on this unstable board and do some more squats but use a rowing motion to pull these weights.

Melanie: I feel it all over my lower body. It sort of hurts and not in a good way.

Russ: Okay, jumping jacks with a body bar.

Melanie: I am about to pass out. I cannot jump anymore. I was not kidding about my thighs. I am going home now.

End scene.