Scenes From a Bar: You Are Not the Boss of Me

Friday night, I went out with Kelly, Maureen and Gail. Eventually, Kelly and I were lucky enough to be interrupted by the guy next to us and his bizarre friend. I'm thankful though, or I would have gotten to participate in the following conversation. Behold:

Guy that I'm not even remotely interested in: What are you drinking?
Me: Bud Light
G: Can I buy you one?
M: No, thanks. I'm good.
G: Why aren't you drinking wine?
M: Because I wanted Bud Light.
G: Why don't you try a nice Cabernet?
M: Because I am drinking Bud Light.
G: Cosmos are good. Why don't you have a cosmo?
M: I don't want a cosmo. I am happy to drink Bud Light. What do you care?
G: You shouldn't drink domestic beer. You should drink imported beer. Have you tried Stella Artois?
M: I have and I didn't like it. (Editor's note: I'm not sure I've ever tried Stella Artois but that really wasn't the point - especially not this deep into the conversation.) I like to buy American.
G: Domestic beer is only about $6 for a six-pack. Imported beer is twice that. Why don't you let me buy you an import?
M: Who buys six-packs? I don't want an import. I like Bud Light. Why don't you buy me a Bud Light and give me the cash difference?
G: That's funny. Just for that, I'm buying you a Bud Light.
(Editor's note: He also offers to buy Kelly a drink and then tries to backtrack when she orders later. We do not let him get away with it.)

Fast-forward a bit - he interrupts our conversation yet again, so that we can have this exchange.

G: Where would you go on your dream vacation?
M: I don't know. I've always wanted to go to Germany so I think there.
G: Where in Germany?
M: Well, my cousin is near Frankfurt so probably there.
G: Oh no. Frankfurt is the financial city - you don't want to go there.
M: So, let me get this straight. You ask me what I'm drinking, and then proceed to tell me why I'm wrong to be drinking it. Then you ask me where I want to go on my dream vacation and proceed to tell me why I don't want to go there. Um, I have a list of people who are the boss of me - and you are nowhere near on that list.
G: I was just offering my opinion.
M: But I didn't ask your opinion on where I should go on my dream vacation. But thank you for your concern.

He then proceeded to tell me that I wouldn't be allergic to his cats. I guess he is very familiar with my medical history and also an allergy specialist of some sort. Jerk. He still didn't go away nearly soon enough, but eventually he did. Hard to believe, but I let that one get away.