The Murphy's Rock (or I Love the Suburbs, Part II)

The Reintroduction to Society Summer Tour brought us the infamous Dan Gordon Party at Casa de Murphy this past weekend. I'm pleased to say that shirtless DanGordit! lived up to the hype - not just for Sally (who was obsessed with him), but for all of us I think. To recap:

• I kicked off the weekend with Dan and his shirt at Wheeltapper Pub. Hilarity ensued.
• I continue to awesome Alisa's house (well, technically Boyfriend Matt's) for the Olympic Opening Ceremonies where I feast upon delicious Chinese food, Alisa's killer Olympic cake and Matt's dynamite lychee martinis. A lot of lychee martinis.
• I take the most entertaining ride home where the driver tells me about the men who don't have any money to pay the driver because they've spent all their money at the clubs trying to get the "boom boom." Pretty sure this would have still been entertaining even without a pitcher of lychee martinis in my belly.
• I wake up to pack and make my way to Penn Station to meet up with Dan. I may not be sober from the night before.
• I stop to get breakfast sandwiches for the train, as Dan is bringing the gatorosas. I get a text from him telling me he's running late. I immediately text him back to hurry as I'm almost sober.
• We commence our train ride with fierce blue gatorosas. I decide Dan Gordon might actually be a genius.
• Some red-headed lady tries to make a move on Dan Gordon, or maybe just his gatorosas. I refrain from shanking her because I do not want to get kicked off Amtrak for life just for that biotch. Besides, Dan didn't think she was "pretty from the front." And more importantly, he didn't dare offer her a gatorosa or he might have gotten shanked himself.
• We run out of gatorosas just as the cafe car closes. Dan valiantly tries to score some booze at 30th Street station, but comes up empty. We're booze-free for about 30 minutes until the train is moving again and the cafe car reopens. Dan comes back with a half bottle of pinot grigio that we proceed to mix with cranberry juice. It is a vile combination that we chug down and finish in about 15 minutes. Because we are committed.
• Kate picks us up at the train with Sally who is a little surprised that Dangordit exists, but is pleased about it - especially when he presents her with a stuff Big Bird. She pauses in her celebration long enough to ask Aunt Meyahnee if she remembered the M&Ms. Luckily, I did. She resumes celebration.
• We get to Casa de Murphy, where John is prepping some of the most delicious food we will ever eat. Dan falls in love with the 16 pounds of ribs the Murphy's have on deck. Much eating and drinking commences.
• Kate's brother Tom shows up with the Future Mrs. Tom, aka Rebecca. They bring soft pretzels. I immediately fall in love with the pretzels.
• Other activities that took place? Frisbee, Sally showing us her muscles, Kate showing us her muscles, Kate letting/making us feel her muscles, arm-wrestling (Dan Gordon knocked down both Aichele kids before John Murphy reminded him who's house he was in), a push-up competition (a dispute over proper form and Kate sabotaging John kept us from crowning a clear winner but Dan did take his shirt off so we had that going for us), and perhaps a short demonstration of how I would perform Proud Mary at karaoke with Kate as back-up.
• The following morning Sally showed us all how awesome she is at running and jumping and Dan even showed off his somersault skills - all pre-breakfast. A trip to the diner (bacon!), a drive around to see houses we can't afford and then back to the house to pack up and head out. And most importantly, pick up the makings for a round of gatorosas on the way home. SWEET!
• Cap off the weekend with Dan leading me out of Penn Station through a secret tunnel (well, maybe not secret but I wouldn't have gone that way on my own. I watch Lifetime, I know how that can end) and then weaving through the crowds waiting for the Jonas Brothers. We both manage to get through it without shanking any screaming little girls. Barely.

Best exchange of the weekend:
John (watching the Olympics - men's swimming): He's just not a good breaststroker.
Melanie: That's what she said!
FYI - That kicked off a full scale "that's what she said" assault by me for the rest of the day and evening. I had mixed success - not all instances were accepted by the crowd - but even when I was denied they were still pretty amused. So, mission accomplished!

A picture is worth a thousand words. Behold:



And a video is priceless, especially if it is video of a push-up competition. I can't figure out why they are so dark, but I'm going to see if I can do anything to fix it. The videos are much better in their full glory. Suggestions welcome.

The Shirtless Wonder Dangordit shows what he's made of

Tom trys a slightly "different" approach

John gets sabotaged by his own wife

So, who won the battle of the burbs? I think I did because I got to have two really awesome weekends with great friends. I would road trip with Dangordit any day of the week - even with his shirt on. And as for the Murphy Family and Los Fitzes? I guarantee I'll be back to visit each of them as soon as they'll have me. Wait - that's what she said? Hmmm... Nah. She probably didn't say that. But she might. She just might.