Happy Labor Day!

I think it's safe to say that most readers of this blog currently work for THE MAN, or at least did once upon a time. So, you likely already know that Monday is a day off for the lowly people - and also the unofficial end of summer.

But even more important than that - it's the premiere of Gossip Girl, bitches! Set your DVRs accordingly.

And enjoy your day off. I know I will!

Fall TV Analysis: Wednesday

Wednesday might be my favorite television night of the week. I am really LOVING ABC's line-up - it really didn't get a fair shake due to the writer's strike so I'm really hoping it's more successful this season because I do not want any of those shows (Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, or my favorite - Dirty Sexy Money) to get canceled. Once again, my picks are noted with an asterisk.

CW
America's Next Top Model* (9/3)
Sylista (new - 10/29 - competing for a job at Elle) (I might check it out)

Fox
Bones* (9/3 - Two hour premiere)
'Til Death (9/10)
Do Not Disturb* (new - 9/10) (Niecy Nash and Jerry O'Connell mean I'll give it a shot, but we'll see)

ABC
Pushing Daisies* (10/1)
Private Practice* (10/1)
Dirty Sexy Money* (10/1)

CBS
New Adventures of Old Christine* (9/24)
Gary Unmarried (new - 9/24)
Criminal Minds * (9/24)
CSI: NY

NBC
Knight Rider* (new - 9/24) (The TV movie used to reboot the series was less than stellar, but I need to give it a shot)
Deal or No Deal (8/25)
Lipstick Jungle * (9/24)

Cable
Friday Night Lights (DirecTV - 10/1 but will be on NBC in January) - I absolutely positively cannot wait for that premiere because this show might be one of the most fantastic shows on television. Don't let the football theme throw you off. I almost didn't watch it because I thought it was too football and that would have been one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Baseball Boogie

It's pretty fitting that just yesterday I was congratulating Los Fitzes on their anniversary because today, more than ever, I am so glad that Christine snatched Andrew up. Otherwise, he might not have shared the following gem with us.



Turns out, 1986 was a big year for sports team music videos. I think that the Dodgers have more natural rhythm than the Patriots or Bears. I wonder if that goes for baseball players over football players in general?

Fall TV Analysis: Tuesday

Once again, my picks are noted with an asterisk.

CW
90210* (new show who wisely chose to cast Rob Estes – 9/2)
Privileged (New drama about rich teens maybe? – 9/9) (will give it a try, but no promises)

Fox
House* (9/16)
Fringe* (New show by J.J. Abrams with Pacey – 90 minute premiere on 9/9)

ABC
Opportunity Knocks (new game show – 9/23)
Dancing with the Stars*
Eli Stone* (10/14)

CBS
NCIS (9/23)
The Mentalist* (new drama with Simon Baker as a private investigator – 9/23)
Without a Trace* (9/23)

NBC
The Biggest Loser: Families* (9/16) (time to stock up on cookies!)
Law & Order: SVU* (9/23)

Cable
The Shield (FX – 9/2)

Update: Fall TV Analysis - Monday

My Monday Fall TV analysis was missing a mention of Raising the Bar (TNT), yet another entry into the courtroom drama series world but this time starring Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Gloria Reuben and Jane Kaczmarek. Oh, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar's hair. Because, yikes.

The Fug Girls had something to say on this as well, and no one says it better than them.

But at any rate, I'll be checking out the show anyway.

NFL Kickoff Party - Part Deux

I'm so happy I didn't make this up. I thought I had dreamed the song because no one else had any memory of it. Not even Mrs. Los Fitz and she's from MA. It's no Superbowl Shuffle, but the special effects are, um, a sight to see.

Los Fitzes on Their Wedding Day

Too pretty not to share.

Fall TV Analysis: Monday

The most wonderful time of the year officially kicks off next week. No, it's not Christmas - though I do enjoy that (aside from the fact that Christmas generally means reruns). No, it's time for the new fall tv season. Now, most shows won't premiere until late September or early October, but we should all take a minute to give thanks for the CW and Fox who say eff that noise and start their seasons next week.

I think I'm going to mount my attack on this monster in a day-by-day approach. However, if you're anxious to see how everything is going to shape up and can't wait for my expert analysis (or perhaps your TV tastes differ from a 14-year-old girl), then feel free to jump over to my sources. But prepare to be bored on my blog for the next week or so.

Day-by-Day Schedule
Premiere Calendar
Shows A-Z

And now for the good stuff! My picks are noted with an asterisk.

Monday's Analysis

CW
Gossip Girl* (9/1)
One Tree Hill* (9/1)

Fox
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles* (9/8)
Prison Break* (9/1 - Two hour event)

ABC
Dancing with the Stars* (9/22)
Samantha Who?* (10/6)
Boston Legal* (9/22)

CBS
Big Bang Theory* (9/22)
How I Met Your Mother* (9/22)
Two and a Half Men (9/22)
Worst Week (New) (9/22)
CSI: Miami (9/22)

NBC
Chuck* (9/29)
Heroes* (9/22 - Three hour event!)
My Own Worst Enemy* (new - with Christian Slater) (10/13)

Cable TV
Californication (Showtime - 9/22)

Happy Anniversary, Los Fitzes!

Wishing you many more years of wedded bliss, Mr. & Mrs. Los Fitz!

NFL Kickoff Party

So, we all know I'm not much of a football fan. But I am a fan of choreographed dancing and the 80s. So in honor of the official start of the season later this week - here's something we can call enjoy.



Please note the guy in charge of playing the cowbell in his fancy hat.

Boats and Bats in Brooklyn

First of all, the NYC subway system absolutely hates me this week as I barely made it to the park in time for the Twilight Tour. I called Gail as soon as I got off the train and she and her friend Elizabeth (who rocks, by the way) were already at the park at the boat basin. Trav tells me that the boat is going to board soon so I haul ass to get there - including RUNNING down the pathway which is thankfully marked by duck prints. I get there and see people boarding the boat but no sign of Trav. I call again and she tells me that they are upstairs. However, the doors are locked and keep in mind that I still think we're trying to catch a 7 pm boat THAT IS CURRENTLY BOARDING as it's just after 7 now. Someone happens to leave the building, so I head in and run upstairs where I find Trav and Elizabeth sitting and chatting, drinking wine and eating little snacks. Oh, turns out we can take a 7:30 boat. I think that this that would have been excellent information to have BEFORE I ran through the park, but I don't actually say that out loud until we are rehashing much later in the evening.

So, we hang out for a bit before the 7:30 boat. Our tour guide was quite chatty and informative - far more informative than I personally care for at 7:30 on a Thursday night when I'm trying to drink wine and chat with my friends. He proceeds to tell us how bats are the only thing saving us from the apocalypse because they eat insects and if they didn't eat insects, the insects would take over the world and we'd have to live in domes and grow food in domes. Then he pointed out an island inhabited by raccoons who only leave it to swim to the park to eat trash. Which - um, thanks for the nightmares, pal. Mercifully, the boat tour ends but marks the "hike" portion of our evening, which turns out to mean we walk down a path to a bridge and use some sort of "radar" to isolate bat noises. But I think this was mostly a ruse to get us to a bridge so we had no choice but to listen to him talk. Cause he wouldn't shut up. Before he even started the bat portion of the tour, he was standing there telling us what a small window we had to see and all I could think was - if the window to observe bats is so small, then why are we standing here? Also - there are 1000 species of bats and some can live to be 30, and grow to almost 3 feet in size with a 6 foot wing span. Oh, and bats are key in the production of something that is necessary to make tequila but I had long stopped listening closely at that point.

Ooh - almost forgot the super awesome sassy black older lady on the tour who asked kind of sarcastic, but sort of serious questions including: what if I wake up a hibernating bat (it dies), do bats live in my brownstone (perhaps), and do they attack men (only if rabid and even then - not really). She was fantastic. I told her that we should hang out and that my schedule is pretty wide open - and she told me she was booked.

So THEN it's time for us to leave the park. Instead of walking down the way we came and going where there is a little bit of a lit pathway - Gail leads us into the park and down a completely black trail and really didn't seem to know where she was going. Thank goodness I always carry this little teeny flashlight (ever since I was trapped on the subway during the blackout in 2003) - so I get it out so we can at least see a little bit. We finally come out on the other end - though not where Gail expected us to come out. Of course. But she's the best - last night she emailed me this:

thank you for guiding myself and elizabeth with your flashlight... i feel strongly that is a sign of your strength and amazing brilliance as a friend....

Which - it totally is. You all are pretty lucky to know me.

So, we survive Trav leading us through the pitch black woods with promises of "this way" only to be met with "where the eff are we" but luckily Elizabeth not only knew where the eff we were but could properly direct us to Farm (with a little help from Google), where we had fancy bar food (i.e. less fried than I prefer) and a bartender who took our picture and let Trav finish the bottle of organic wine she was drinking. Then Elizabeth and I took the train home and some old lady kind of got all up in Elizabeth's face for flaunting her whiteness - which Elizabeth wasn't even remotely doing and pointed out to me (after the lady got off the train) that she is actually Mexican so if she were going to flaunt anything, it might be that.

All in all, a pretty excellent night.

Safe travels, Trav. Already miss you and can't wait until you're back.

The 7:00 PM boat that we were not on:

The lovely water. Apparently that's duck weed on top of it, which you could eat if you were desperate and is also key in preventing the apocolypse.


Us at Farm courtesy of the bartender:

I Do Love a Dance-Off

I've seen this dancing guy in Jersey City. Apparently know he's relocated to Hoboken - and the locals aren't wild about it. Behold:



It's not really for the faint of heart. Some of those moves - oh my!

Mommy's Home!

Tuesday nights at 10 PM on Oxygen, starting August 26! Miss Janice is back - and this time she's moving in with the models.

This is going to be good.

Cute Kid Alert: She Stole All My Best Moves!

I'm not going to say I taught her everything she knows, but...y'all have seen me dance.

Yo, Yo, Where My Wasps At?

I'm pretty sure we saw one of these guys at last night's beer tasting at The Harvard Club. You know who you are, Mr. Salmon Pants.

Also - Main Line shout out! Love it.



A tea in the parlor, makes the ladies holla...

Jamie McShane on The Closer

Brought to you by Los Fitzes:

Please watch The Closer on TNT Monday, August 18th at 9pm EST. Our brother-in-law Jamie will be on. Not sure exactly what his role entails, but he is happy about it so it must be good!

Listening Lounge Farewell: Katy Perry

Not entirely sure who is going to be taking her place, but it's time for Katy to step aside for a bit. Parental advisory due to the racy subject matter!

Winner: Best Salon Name Ever

Their tag line? Home of the happy ending...

The Murphy's Rock (or I Love the Suburbs, Part II)

The Reintroduction to Society Summer Tour brought us the infamous Dan Gordon Party at Casa de Murphy this past weekend. I'm pleased to say that shirtless DanGordit! lived up to the hype - not just for Sally (who was obsessed with him), but for all of us I think. To recap:

• I kicked off the weekend with Dan and his shirt at Wheeltapper Pub. Hilarity ensued.
• I continue to awesome Alisa's house (well, technically Boyfriend Matt's) for the Olympic Opening Ceremonies where I feast upon delicious Chinese food, Alisa's killer Olympic cake and Matt's dynamite lychee martinis. A lot of lychee martinis.
• I take the most entertaining ride home where the driver tells me about the men who don't have any money to pay the driver because they've spent all their money at the clubs trying to get the "boom boom." Pretty sure this would have still been entertaining even without a pitcher of lychee martinis in my belly.
• I wake up to pack and make my way to Penn Station to meet up with Dan. I may not be sober from the night before.
• I stop to get breakfast sandwiches for the train, as Dan is bringing the gatorosas. I get a text from him telling me he's running late. I immediately text him back to hurry as I'm almost sober.
• We commence our train ride with fierce blue gatorosas. I decide Dan Gordon might actually be a genius.
• Some red-headed lady tries to make a move on Dan Gordon, or maybe just his gatorosas. I refrain from shanking her because I do not want to get kicked off Amtrak for life just for that biotch. Besides, Dan didn't think she was "pretty from the front." And more importantly, he didn't dare offer her a gatorosa or he might have gotten shanked himself.
• We run out of gatorosas just as the cafe car closes. Dan valiantly tries to score some booze at 30th Street station, but comes up empty. We're booze-free for about 30 minutes until the train is moving again and the cafe car reopens. Dan comes back with a half bottle of pinot grigio that we proceed to mix with cranberry juice. It is a vile combination that we chug down and finish in about 15 minutes. Because we are committed.
• Kate picks us up at the train with Sally who is a little surprised that Dangordit exists, but is pleased about it - especially when he presents her with a stuff Big Bird. She pauses in her celebration long enough to ask Aunt Meyahnee if she remembered the M&Ms. Luckily, I did. She resumes celebration.
• We get to Casa de Murphy, where John is prepping some of the most delicious food we will ever eat. Dan falls in love with the 16 pounds of ribs the Murphy's have on deck. Much eating and drinking commences.
• Kate's brother Tom shows up with the Future Mrs. Tom, aka Rebecca. They bring soft pretzels. I immediately fall in love with the pretzels.
• Other activities that took place? Frisbee, Sally showing us her muscles, Kate showing us her muscles, Kate letting/making us feel her muscles, arm-wrestling (Dan Gordon knocked down both Aichele kids before John Murphy reminded him who's house he was in), a push-up competition (a dispute over proper form and Kate sabotaging John kept us from crowning a clear winner but Dan did take his shirt off so we had that going for us), and perhaps a short demonstration of how I would perform Proud Mary at karaoke with Kate as back-up.
• The following morning Sally showed us all how awesome she is at running and jumping and Dan even showed off his somersault skills - all pre-breakfast. A trip to the diner (bacon!), a drive around to see houses we can't afford and then back to the house to pack up and head out. And most importantly, pick up the makings for a round of gatorosas on the way home. SWEET!
• Cap off the weekend with Dan leading me out of Penn Station through a secret tunnel (well, maybe not secret but I wouldn't have gone that way on my own. I watch Lifetime, I know how that can end) and then weaving through the crowds waiting for the Jonas Brothers. We both manage to get through it without shanking any screaming little girls. Barely.

Best exchange of the weekend:
John (watching the Olympics - men's swimming): He's just not a good breaststroker.
Melanie: That's what she said!
FYI - That kicked off a full scale "that's what she said" assault by me for the rest of the day and evening. I had mixed success - not all instances were accepted by the crowd - but even when I was denied they were still pretty amused. So, mission accomplished!

A picture is worth a thousand words. Behold:



And a video is priceless, especially if it is video of a push-up competition. I can't figure out why they are so dark, but I'm going to see if I can do anything to fix it. The videos are much better in their full glory. Suggestions welcome.

The Shirtless Wonder Dangordit shows what he's made of

Tom trys a slightly "different" approach

John gets sabotaged by his own wife

So, who won the battle of the burbs? I think I did because I got to have two really awesome weekends with great friends. I would road trip with Dangordit any day of the week - even with his shirt on. And as for the Murphy Family and Los Fitzes? I guarantee I'll be back to visit each of them as soon as they'll have me. Wait - that's what she said? Hmmm... Nah. She probably didn't say that. But she might. She just might.

Happy Birthday, Dan!

I hope you will all join me in wishing Dan a happy birthday today. I think we can all agree that certainly the world became a much funnier, and likely a better, place on this day many years ago.

You're the balls, Dangordit.

Happy Anniversary, Ed & Lorraine!

Anniversary shout-out to Ed & Lorraine. Wishing you many, many more!

The Bar Has Been Set, Murphy Family

Murphy Family - Are you ready to compete with these highlights from post-BBQ hijinks with Los Fitzes?



In the battle of the 'burbs, who will reign supreme? NJ or PA? Consider it brought-en.

Things Are Looking Up

It's been a rough couple days around the Musings home offices, but perhaps the healing is on the way. And, special thanks to Mrs. Los Fitz and the newly-named, Shirtless Dangordit! (courtesy of the ever-awesome Sally, though I added the shirtless part because otherwise that's creepy and weird and not cute at all) who helped the healing with wonderful IM conversations, excerpted here:

Mrs. Los Fitz (accepting my response for not posting this week): you better be in tip top shape after this weekend and your gatorosas with shirtless dangordit

Shirtless Dangordit! (in response Mrs Los Fitz's comment that I shared): Tip top shape after the weekend? I doubt it. You'll be recovering through Wednesday afternoon.

I hope the Murphy Family is ready for the chaos that is going to descend upon them around 1:00 PM, Saturday.

Sorry for the Silence

But when I'm back, it'll be worth the wait.

I Heart Seth Meyers

You know I do. I'm sad that no one has put the video for this on the internet yet, but I'm hopeful my time will come some day. In the meantime, enjoy the transcript.

Tina Fey: Now it's time for an old favorite here at "Weekend Update" - "Point/Counterpoint". Here to debate tonight are Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter and Boston Red Sox fan Seth Meyers. Tonight's topic on "Point/Counterpoint": "Derek Jeter Sucks" - "No, I Don't". Derek, why don't we start with you.

Derek Jeter: Thanks, Tina. I know my friend Seth Meyers here is a Red Sox fan, and that's great. The fan really are what keep Major League baseball going. But I hope Seth can see that I play hard all the time, and I always do my best for the team.

Tina Fey: Seth, Counterpoint?

Seth Meyers: You suck!

Tina Fey: Seth, you still have, like, thirty seconds.

Seth Meyers: I'll elaborate. Jeter, you suck in three very specific ways. So Hard, So Bad, and Wicked Bad.

Tina Fey: Derek? Response?

Derek Jeter: Well, I’ve heard this argument before, Seth. In fact, Red Sox fans have been nice enough to share this argument with me every time I play in Boston. Or walk in Boston. Or go on a date in a fancy restaurant in Boston. Also, sometimes they drive to Baltimore, when we play the Orioles, to tell me I suck. [ Seth starts chanting "Der-ek!" in Derek's ear ] But if you look at my numbers, you'll find that I'm a very productive shortshop. Seth, what are you doing? You've been following me around all week screaming at me.

Seth Meyers: I'm sorry, Derek.. really.. I really am. It's just you and people like you ruined my entire childhood. So I swore if I ever got within six feet of a real Yankee, I'd kick his ass. But then I saw you.. and I knew that that could not happen. But, thankfully, this can happen - You suck!

Derek Jeter: Seth, I don't suck. I've won four World Series rings in six years.

Seth Meyers: Valid point. But if there was a World Series of sucking, you'd have, like, a hundred rings!

Derek Jeter: What?! Alright, look.. Nomar Garciaparr's a great player. Is it okay to say he sucks?

Seth Meyers: [ aghast ] What.. did you say..?

Derek Jeter: I don't think he sucks, I'm trying to prove a point!

Seth Meyers: [ crying ] Well, why would you say that..? You said that Nomar.. he has a broken wrist.. and he's so nice.. and he's like my best friend..!

Derek Jeter: Seth, Seth.. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?

Seth Meyers: Will you come play for Boston?

Derek Jeter: No. No.

Seth Meyers: Then, sign my hat?

Derek Jeter: Sure, man, no problem.

Seth Meyers: Will you sign it as Nomar?

Derek Jeter: Whatever.. whatever.. [ signs the hat ]

Seth Meyers: Thanks, Derek. You know, you don't suck.

Derek Jeter: Thanks, Seth. You do suck, a little.

Seth Meyers: I know.. I know..

Tina Fey: This has been "Point/Counterpoint".

Hands down, my favorite part is "Jeter, you suck in three very specific ways. So Hard, So Bad, and Wicked Bad." I have actually used that line (minus the Jeter reference) in my real life.

Some Things Just Aren't Meant to Be

Well, dear readers. You voted. And you voted against me owning this print. Back to the drawing board - and stay tuned for future polls!

Things Are Right on Track

Hoping to do a longer post later - many things to catch up on, but not a lot of time to work on quality posts. But in the meantime - really loving today's MSN.com horoscope. Fairytale romance, indeed.

Are you single, dear Pisces? If so, today you might just fall in love at first sight. You may have been frustrated lately by the lack of interesting people who are available, but today you could meet someone one who seems just too perfect for words. And you can rest assured: the attraction is mutual! On the other hand, if you're already involved, you can expect a revival of the fairytale type of romance between you and your significant other. Enjoy!

One Way to Spend Your Weekend

From the Operation Backpack Site:

Over 9,000 families including 11,000 school-age children reside in the New York City homeless shelter system. Most of these children will go back to school in September without basic supplies, unless we help.

Operation Backpack is Volunteers of America’s annual back-to-school drive that asks the general public to bring new backpacks to designated Drop Locations throughout the city. Over 70 New York businesses participate by engaging employees in backpack and school supply drives. The result is thousands of new backpacks, which volunteers fill with grade-specific supplies during Sort Week and distribute to kids in time for the start of the school year.

Drop a new backpack at any of our Drop Locations from August 4-17 or give online and help a child who is homeless start the school year off right.

If you're interested in charity abroad, my dad is still collecting items for the orphanage, which will also be starting school soon.