Best Show You're Not Watching: Friday Night Lights

Here is my new favorite scene from Friday Night Lights, and possibly TV, for all-time.

Mother/Daughter Talk For the Ages

The acting in this show is just absolutely amazing. Beyond amazing. It makes me want to move to Texas almost. Kyle Chandler (he especially has down that "coach" walk and jaw set I always imagine on Texas football coaches) and Connie Britton are genius and most of the kids are awesome too.

The show just got renewed for two more seasons, I think. Two more wonderful, wonderful seasons.

Weekend Highlight: Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central

To get ready for My Boys triumphant return to TBS on March 31, you can warm up with Jim Gaffigan's latest special on Comedy Central on March 29. I tend to find him rather hilarious and think you might too!

Excellence in Advertising: Heineken

I have seen this on American television, but can only find the foreign version on YouTube. Don't worry. You'll understand.

Culture Corner: Review of The American Plan

During Melanie Gras 2009, Jason, Kara and I went to see The American Plan. This one will have you talking for weeks to come. That's what it said in the review that Jason read. The beginning of the play was a little slow, but we watched and we waited. And when we least expected it, the lady behind us "whispered" to her husband, "THIS is what is going to happen." And Jason, Kara and I all sat there and watched and thought "crap. THAT is what is going to happen." And then it happened and was anti-climatic for us all. At least, those of us within ear shot of that lady.

What else do I have to say about this? It was a good play, but I felt the second act seemed rush. A lot happened, but I would have liked to see some items flushed out more, a little more explanation of how we got from A to C. Honestly? If we hadn't been told we'd be talking about it, I don't think we would have been talking about it.

Jason says: "___________ " (I still don't know exactly what to say about it, except that I honestly can say I enjoyed this one.)

You're Going to Need to be More Specific

Dear Girl Walking Behind Me,

Using Starbucks as a landmark when walking through midtown Manhattan does not even remotely indicate that you are heading in the right direction.

Good luck!

Love,
Mel C.

Un-Happy Anniversary - Assault on the Penthouse

So, as you many of you know, two weeks ago I was assaulted in my kitchen. So what if my attacker was only four inches long? He was an uninvited guest, in my kitchen, eating my food and he scared the bejeezus out of me. Today I tell my tale.

Assault on the Penthouse: A Story of Mel C. and a Mouse Named Jerry
Setting: Spacious kitchen in the penthouse
Time of day: Ass early, pre-caffeine

I get out of bed after hitting snooze a dozen times. Kate calls to chat about our schedules and I head to my spacious kitchen, unaware that my attacker is laying (lying?) in wait. I turn on the water for tea, listening to Kate describe her plans for the day, our regular morning routine. I reach for my delicious high-fiber English muffins, being kept fresh in a Ziploc bag. Something in the bag moves. I am puzzled. English muffins do not move. Nothing in that bag should move. Nothing in the penthouse should move, except me and even that is rare. (Please keep in mind - all of this happens in the span of about 2 minutes total.)

To recap: Ziploc bag of English muffins is moving at 7:30 in the morning, before caffeine. This is not good. Upon seeing movement in the bag, I put it back on the counter and take a step back to think. I want to get that bag and its contents out of the kitchen. Getting it out of the kitchen requires 1. touching the bag, and 2. walking through the living room and dangerously close to the bedroom and that only gets me to the hallway, not out of the building. I don't know if the bag is open or if it has a hole and if it has a hole, I do not know where the hole is located. Not acceptable. Too much room for something to go wrong.

I try to tell myself that maybe I'm just seeing things. That maybe nothing moved. Maybe it was all in my head. Tramautically, before I can think much further, my attacker launches from the bag, down the counter, onto the floor and to heaven knows where! I scream bloody hell! Kate wonders what on earth just happened! Shaking, I recount the story. Jerry is back. Jerry, who terrorized me when I lived in my studio, has found me. My first instinct is to leave my apartment and never look back, but even I recognize that is not a very practical solution. I need to shower. I need to go to my job that pays me. I need to RECLAIM MY APARTMENT. I'm at work and he is in the penthouse and he is probably touching my stuff and watching my DVR! He probably deleted those episodes of Tool Academy! I'll never get those back!

Jerry is going down.

Except not really, because I am gripped with a paralyzing fear of Jerry.

I discuss the assault with everyone. Everyone. I go online (HUGE mistake) to try and learn how to keep Jerry away. I am given glue traps that I pray are never used. EVER. I don't want to catch Jerry, I just want him to not come back. Oh, I know I can't blame Jerry. I got cocky up here in the penthouse. Previous tenant had a cat. It's so far up from the basement. He'll never find me here. But he did. Sally tells Kate, "Aunt Mehnane going to show that mouse who is bossy." And I do. I stomp around in my shoes, clapping as I go from room to room. I kick my kitchen cabinets when I get home, so he knows that play time is over. I plug in sonic mouse repellers. I eat canned food and whatever isn't canned is kept in a plastic tote. I sleep with the TV on. (This backfires slightly one morning, when a character on All My Children is whispering and I think someone is in the room whispering to me and I nearly have a heart attack.) I make Kristen come over to keep me company while I clean under my cabinets. I figure she can go for back-up if I get attacked again.

Today, it has been two weeks since the initial assault. Knock on wood, I have not seen any further evidence of Jerry's presence. No, seriously. Knock on wood. I am paranoid and terrified about this stuff. I can only hope that I, too, scared the bejeezus out of him and he has moved on to greener pastures. Or houses that are foolishly leaving their English muffins in Ziploc bags instead of under lock and key in the refrigerator. Fools!

You Better WORK!

So, do you want to know how I'll be spending my Sunday? With a marathon of RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. It's like the TV gods are smiling down on me...

More Gay & Lesbian Videos At LogoOnline.com

On Location: Salt

Taken outside my building as I left work this week. I was too lazy to get any closer so I don't know if Angelina or Liev were around, but I'm assuming yes. As a matter of fact, we're probably having dinner tomorrow...

Sign of the Apocalypse: What is Carrie Underwood Wearing?

Seriously. First of all - that thing on the front of the dress. And then, the hat? Hair clip? Barrette? What is going on here, people?

Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother?

She's a smart girl. I really think it's the hand gestures that sell it.



And no, I do not know her. God Bless the Internet.

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

Well, actually, probably not all that soon since this week it is being filmed in my work neighborhood - Salt. Starring Angelina Jolie and Liev Schreiber, the film synopsis from IMDB:

When CIA officer Evelyn Salt is outed as a Russian sleeper spy, she evades capture by those who are convinced she's aiming to assassinate the president.

Sounds promising. And not just because maybe you'll be able to catch a glimpse of me in the far, FAR, way background.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Too cute not to share!

Donor's Choose Challenge Pay-off: Today a Tomato Tours the Nation's Capital

You may recall back in October, I mentioned the Tomato Nation Donor's Choose challenge. In the month of October, readers of the Tomato Nation blog helped raise $111,352 for schools. It was kind of awesome. I can't go to the Donor's Choose site and not cry while reading the proposals. I donated to a frog dissection project and got the sweetest batch of letters and photos in return. I hated dissecting frogs - but I would have never known that if I hadn't had the chance. Now some kids in Chicago get to decide for themselves too.

At any rate, the blog's author, Sarah Bunting, will be touring landmarks in Washington, DC today. Dressed in a tomato costume. Just like she promised she would if her readers raised over $100,000. Last year she danced in Rockefeller Center in the costume. This year, the show goes on the road.

You can follow the Twitter feed (and pictures), here. Right now, she still seems to be on the NJ Turnpike.

Shirtless Dangordit About to Become Hairless Dangordit

This just in from the one and only Shirtless Dangordit. He really is one in a million.

St. Patrick's Day is also St. Baldrick's Day this year! On Tuesday the 17th, I'll be having my head shaved to help raise money for childhood cancer research.

I hope that you'll support this important cause by making a donation on my head. Cancer is the #1 disease killer of children in North America, and more than 160,000 kids are diagnosed each year. Since 2000, St. Baldrick's has been working to change that. The foundation has raised nearly $30 million in just the last two years.

If you can, please come to Jim Brady's (75 Maiden Lane) around 4:00 on Tuesday to watch and cheer me on. Whether or not you can be there, I hope you’ll support me – both in spirit and with a donation. All my donors’ names (unless anonymous) will appear on my page of the St. Baldrick’s website.

To give online, go to http://www.stbaldricks.org/, click on “Donate” and search for my name as the participant to support (I think this link will take you directly to my page: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.php?ParticipantKey=2009-345668). Or you can donate by phone at (888) 899-BALD, or write a check to “St. Baldrick’s Foundation.” I’m happy to collect pledges at work, too.

If you want to volunteer or get more involved, please let me know. We’re going to have some serious fun, Shaving the Way to Conquer Kids’ Cancer!

Best,
Dan

Every little bit helps, so if you can, spare a dime. I'll be making a donation after payday and the luscious locks below will soon be a thing of the past (his, not mine).

I'm Not As Young as I Once Was

So, I haven't posted since my birthday. The real reason for this is that I am probably lazy or possibly I have that seasonal disorder that makes you sad when it is cloudy, BUT I like to think it is because I partied like a rock star (that part is true) for so long that I'm STILL recovering. The long recovery time is probably due to a combo of "lazy" and "in my 30s."

Things that Musings readers have to look forward to:

• Brief recap of Melanie Gras 2009 (10ish days of fun, friends and food)
• The return of Culture Corner (33 Variations, American Plan, Mary Poppins)
• The return of Book Corner (I swear I've read something since the Green Mile) and an update to the sidebar (I'm already Twittering (tweeting?) my ass off!)
• Television thoughts (24, Lie to Me, Celebrity Apprentice, RuPaul's Drag Race, America's Next Top Model, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol and a whole host of other shows that you probably aren't watching)
• Assault at The Penthouse: A Story of Mel C. and a mouse named Jerry (please say a prayer that this is a one-part story)

Sorry that it's been so long, but hopefully I can be back on track now.